Monday, April 7, 2008

Get over it.

One of my biggest pet peeves? People who feel perpetually sorry for themselves. We all have our insecure, awkward moments - but I'm talking about when it is an underlying theme. It ends up being those people you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around because of an over-sensitivity.

I'm not necessariy thinking of anyone in particular - I just read one article about single women and another about people having a thrisis. Don't forget the quarter-life crisis. Similar themes surround these types of articles. Mostly - insecurity. Superficiality. Self-induldgence.

Blech. Get over it!

I was just talking to a friend about this. He is on a big work-related adventure overseas. He has been reading a book of short stories by a Japanese author and the author described an interesting period of one's life when they felt most "like yourself."

When have you felt most like yourself?

I know I've been in places - work related, relationships, friendships, living situations, etc - where I've felt stifled. Where I wasn't myself. Where I was drowning in a commute, or working for someone I didn't respect, or dating someone I wasn't truly comfortable around, spending time with friends who brought me down, sacrificing my own health, ambitions and happiness to try to make my life meld into some greater societal expectation. Blah, blah, blah. There's a reason I'm not in the financial industry. There's a reason I'm not friends with certain people any more. There's a reason I'm not in those old relationships. There's a reason I tell people on a regular basis how much I love my job. How happy I am in my current situations. Excited for my impending move! Active with things I truly, deeply enjoy. Surrounding myself with supportive, fun friendships.

I find happiness is a balance between being comfortable with who I am (my body, my mind, my emotions, my relationships, my work, my attitude) and, at the same time, open to NEW THINGS - travel, new people, new activities, new adventures, new hobbies.

When I read about people going through these "crises" - I usually feel no sympathy. You make choices. Stop making the wrong choice. Make the right choice. Quit your job and find something new. Move to a new place. Lose that weight. Lose that baggage. Volunteer. Start a new hobby. Tell someone what's on your mind. Get out. Invite people into your life. Listen.

Smile more.



Grounded Girl said...

ROCK ON! As my mother was fond of repeating ad nauseum "The only person you can change is yourself". You can be a victim, but remember that you're making a choice.

There are days when I watch the sun set and realize that this day will never happen again. That's it-- you get one shot. Yesterday, when I spent the entire day on my couch reading the NYT and napping? Never getting it back. No do-overs. So what's it going to be?

Noelle said...

Although I do think there is value in having the occasional day like that. Sleep restores you for future adventures. Reading keeps you on your toes, ready for new and exciting conversations. There's a balance to it all. But you're right. You don't get a do-over. :-)

Michelle said...

Great post...just as I was wallowing in self-pity here :) Thanks for the reminder that I should suck it up and do something about my situation instead of whining!

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