volume

I know I left the volume up too high.
As the day rides me, I turn it up.
Louder and louder.
The morning news whispers the traffic report.
The evening news tolerably taunts me with the weather.
The nightly news screams in my ear.

I may begin my day with NPR droning softly.
And by midday I hear some "rock" or "alternative" soothing me in a post-grunge lull.
But by night the beats cannot be loud enough.

Sobriety requests quiet.
Every sip.
A notch.
Creeping closer to the boom.
The drop.
The thump.
Unable to discern nuances.
Vibrations in my belly beg.
Beg for more.
Bass.

But when morning comes.
And sobriety creeps.
And the sounds of yesterday are syndicated versions of my reality.
I have to ask...

Why the hell is my radio on so loud???

Sleep.
Repeat.